Just when it looks like the shit has hit the fan... SSR unleashes his killer plan.
First nail the chick issue.
SSR (in his 'common man' avataar) n Mama decide to pull out Formula R009 : Fake suicide.
So as per the plan, the girl is informed that unless she says Yes.. the guy is getting creamed by an oncoming locomotive. The location and time has been forwarded to the mademoiselle.
Little does she know, that Mama is onboard the "blessed" locomotive giving detailed progress reports via SSR's headset. Sure enough loco n belle on the bridge both are on time. Train is drawing too near for comfort.. girl has the "solving some complex equations" look on her face. SSR has been slowly backing away, finds his legs stuck between the rails & yells out the retreat type code - which means "Mama pull the goddamn chain.. this chick is trouble!" Mama runs for the chain in the train.. the stupid passengers object ( bickering microbes don't know their place in the grand scheme of things). He makes a olympic effort to grab the chain.. but ends up with the broken chain in his hand.. Drat! Is this end of our superstar ? Don't worry I'm not going on a break like those lamos on TV.
SSR accepts his fate.. closes his eyes and makes his peace. Girlie meanwhile has found the real and imaginary solutions to her equation and gets on track with the program. She takes her flaming red dupatta (now that's called dressing for the occasion) and frantically waves it around, running towards the oncoming train screaming her head off to stop the train. Slow Mo time... ala Baywatch.
Now I see that most of the people in the m-plex are looking down at their feet. After the movie I saw some people with their eyes misaligned from staring too hard at the moving parts on screen... And I realize the subtle solution to these anti social elements. That's what you get for eyeing HIS girl ! Now these miscreants can't do no evil when their left eye sees something different than their right eye. Improving society .. one pervert at a time. Rajni devaaa!!
Well formula works again.. Girl is back in the ruling party.
Back to the other thread, SSR comes up with a new end-game that he was teaching to Bobby Fisher in second grade.
[At this point I'm being summoned by the minions of the world's biggest conglomerate to do their dirty software dishes. So I need to wind this up quick]
SSR makes a friendly neighbourhood call to the villain, "Tip off! The IT Guys are coming your way." Bad man promptly gets all his 'gunahon ka kacha chittha' in a couple of sacks and dispatches it to the secret hideout. Needless to say the angels pick it up.
Now the next step is "mobilizing committment" - SSR walks into a hospital - as usual there are couple of the now infamous beaten up recovery agents. He gives them their offer letters with competitive moral compensation -- to work for a noble cause. Houston, we now have manpower online.
Next he gets all the P.A.s and advisors into a room. He then delivers a phenomenal talk on black money & the dangers of economic disparity. So to solve this burning issue, the PAs must let SSR know where he can unearth hidden black fiscal reserves of their masters; that he can then use for items jotted down in the 'Just causes spreadsheet.xls' on his trusty laptop. Needless to say some of them refuse.. and they are promptly shepherded into the 'Office room' locked from outside while the operating light is on - where the fully recuperated knights go medieval on them. 100% compliance.
Soon money is pourin into this giant funnel which is then funnelled into friendly helper classes in the US and delegated back to the singleton "SSR foundation of global TN welfare" as white money. Progress follows the footsteps of the great one... the vision begins to turn into reality. The mobile "Office room" ensures the process remains operating at R sigma levels.. viz.."if you defect we clobber you!"
Some moths are drawn into the fire at regular intervals. Pests! A rodeo show with a Pajero at the newest TN Drive-in movie place and some other assorted attacks later... that jezebel wifey dear betrays SSR out of indoctrinated CBI fear (he'll die by the sword. Help us help him) and hands over his lappy to the CBI
But SSR has his laptop voice activated. Ha ha ha haaa... See laptop didn't open. Intelligence is not that intelligent now is it ? SSR takes the morally high road and loves her even more to drive in the guilt. Wifey relents. Lesson learnt.. SSR can not turn back once again to more social concerns.
However that damned villain has the cops on his payroll... he gets in and thrashes a bonded SSR in the police lockup.. (some of the engrossed viewers ripped out a few chairs from the multiplex watching this scene. No issues..It would all be the reimbursed by the great one.)
Finally SSR runs into a high tension power gen unit and gets himself electrocuted and switches his heart into silent mode. (All those you were eating popcorn while the friendly doctor was taking "Jumpstarting the human heart 101" class in the first half of the movie.. here's what happens when you are inattentive. Stay confused you morons!)
The cops are shitting bricks by now... died in custody.. they'll have our heads for this. So they bundle him into a medical van.. badGuy think on his feet - Plans are made to ambush this van mid-way and torch it to ensure that no tales are told. And sure enough the police van is stopped and torched. What the hell !!?? Shankar you !@^!*(@ who wrote the ^@#^$% script for this? Lets go and torch his stupid rear end
Hold on. Shankar is an accomplised director who loves human life... especially his own. The Doc and wifey have been on the trail of the medical van, they do the switcheroo trick. Doc does his thing and the heart gets back onto the network. Some guy is burnt in the van in his place and no one's the wiser.
Soon enough SSR returns in the bald MGR avataar stepping out of a helicopter- houston we have charismatic NRI Re-entry!!! Applause!!! Soon the baddies are sweating bullets.. there's a Matrix-shaming fight sequence on the college rooftops. Money rains from the skies as the bad guy's loot is flung for the masses. Adi seshan's time has run out and he promptly becomes a splat on his college floor and is run over by the handicapped student he refused admission to in the first half and the rest of the academia jumping for the swirling currency. IRONY!!
Social FootNote while the Credits roll to "Sivaji Rigtaah!" : Introduce Money cards and abolish paper currency. Black money will be a thing of the past.
Too much information .. I have the rest of my life to reiterate through the master's teachings.
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